Sanningen som jag ser den

Vidde goes wordpress!

2008-11-04T00:21:00.001+01:00

I just imported all my posts to http://blogg.vidde.org/. I think I will be posting there from now on.

Getting my ass out of bed!

2008-11-02T11:02:00.003+01:00

I haven't let bed yet. But I have been updating my website! Go look for yourself att vidde.org, or more specifically; the music-page!

But now it is time to get up. I haven't even any clothes on! Am I lazy? Nah! I have been working! =)

Ica och deras "Mina varor"

2008-11-01T09:17:00.002+01:00

När jag först hörde om det var jag inte ett dugg förvånad. Jag var redan vagt medveten om att de registrerar vad jag köper. Eller snarare hade jag väl antagit att de gjorde det.

Det är ju inte utan att det tog emot lite att dra kortet när denna tanke väl slagit rot. Jag har alltid haft lite problem med att själva kassörskan kan se vad jag köper. Igår, till exempel. Jag smet in på Ica och köpte varma kycklingklubbor, physalis, avokado och en ost. Jag hade ju tänkt köpa bröd också, men glömde av det. När jag insåg misstaget hade jag redan stått i kö en stund och orkade inte köa igen för att få hem bröd.

Kyklingen och frukten hade jag tänkt äta på en gång medan osten var tänkt till frukost. Men nu börjar min hjärna bråka med mig. Tänk om kassörskan tror att jag ska äta osten till kycklingen? Vad får hon för idéer om mig då?

Numera har jag lärt mig att ignorera de här tankarna. Hon får väl tro vad hon vill om mig då. För om jag inte ignorerar tankarna, då kan jag inte köpa vad jag vill...

I alla fall så drog jag ica-kortet även igår. Vilket innebär att deras dator vet att jag köpte de här sakerna.

Jag vet inte riktigt vad jag ska känna om det hela. Jag har tydligen gått med på det i och med att jag inte har ringt upp dem och protesterat. Eller vad de vill att jag gör om jag inte vill bli inkluderad i deras databas.

Visst är det bra att få 20% rabatt på Norrmejeriers filmjölk? Jag brukar ju köpa den. Men kunde de inte samkört sina register lite isf? Jag bor inte i norrland längre, vilket framgår av adressen de skickat erbjudandet till.

Men där uppstår ju ytterligare problem. Ska de sätta igång att samköra register? Jämföra vad jag brukar köpa med vart jag bor, och kanske vilken storlek jag köper på HM? Så att de kan (för att vara snälla) tipsa mig om lågkalori-produkter om de ser att mitt midjemått börjar bli ohälsosamt.

Vart tog min integritet vägen? Är det värt det? Och om jag tycker det, varför krävs det inte en aktiv handling från min sida för att berätta för dem att jag tycker att deras matregistrering är ok?

Iofs är det väl bara datorer som håller reda på allt detta om mig, men hur synlig är informationen för en människa på Ica nu och i framtiden?

Misty day

2008-10-30T09:20:00.003+01:00

I am slightly confused today. And there is a light mist outside. It looks cold. I don't look forward to riding my bike to work. Maybe I will take the car? But I want to take my bike as much as possible. Work is done by sitting still, and I have been eating too much candy lately. Need to move...

Last night at work (I work late this week) not much was done since I was in a silly mood. And everyone else too. It was fun, and I like to work with them. But today I will keep serious a little longer!

A friend proposed that I and his wife go shopping saturday. Good idea! =) I really need to and I have absolutely no clue when it comes to clothes. Nah, that's not true. But having someone giving advice might be nice.

As to the guys, I think I am back where I was a week ago. And suddenly it doesn't seem stupid any more... I feel mean for saying the things I did, but perhaps they needed to be said...

Too mean?

2008-10-28T23:17:00.002+01:00

I realized that the one I was angry at earlier was myself. I think I knew it all along, but it needs to be clearified.

I am not angry at anyone else. Just mad at myself, because I put myself in situations that hurt me. And I knew all along the road I was walking where it would end. Stupid me.

In other news, innebandy is fun! And I am getting better... I fell over today, but shit happens. =) I also did some good stuff, like scoring and such.

Guys... to hell with you!

2008-10-28T07:25:00.004+01:00

I wonder if it is because of what time of month it is? I have recently discovered that my self esteem seem to vary with the phases of the moon or something. Right now it's pretty high.

Anyways, my feelings aren't less real even if they are helped in their existence by my hormones.

I feel that guys just annoy me right now. They just take my heart and then they break it. I have no desire of letting that happen again. Even though the first part, when they steal my heart, is so wonderful.

I don't feel broken. Just angry. I am worth more than pain.

So right now, I just say screw it all. To hell with it. I am not made to look around. I get hung up on the way, and that doesn't work for me at all. I want it to be mutual, dammit!

Work is good, so I will concentrate my energy on that.

(unless a certain someone calls me up and tells me he wants me, only me and noone on the side... wishing for the impossible...)

Confused and happy

2008-10-27T00:12:00.002+01:00

Just so you know, you confuse me.

In other news, I just had the best workday.

Under mycket trevliga former jobbade vi ikapp på jobbet och sedan hade vi utbildning. En massa saker som blev klarare, några saker jag måste bättra mig på, men även en hel del som jag kan klappa migsjälv på axeln för att jag gör helt rätt.

Det kanske ingår i jobbet att göra det rätt, men man ska fokusera på det positiva, har jag hört. Bara man inte glömmer bort att förbättra sig. =)

Såhär då; om man fokuserar på hur bra man är har man lätt för att tro på sigsjälv så att man kan bättra sig där man är mindre bra. Typ jag är ju bäst, så självklart klarar jag av att bättra mig på de här punkterna och lära mig det där nya!

I'm going to bed now. Need to sleep to do my awesome best tomorrow again! =)

You are not worthy

2008-10-25T10:22:00.003+02:00

I still haven't found someone that will treat me the way I deserve. And I feel I am done chasing after what I want. I want it to come to me on it's own. And then I get surprised that what I didn't fight for is not mine any more.

Who is more stupid? Me for not fighting for them, or them for not fighting for me?

I'm not interested in desperately searching for mr Right either. I felt I had found him, but there is all sorts of trouble there. And he is probably not that interested. At least he is honest about it...

I just want to say to hell with it all! But then again I feel lonely and would very much want somebody by my side... Someone to get home to. Someone that will hold me and tell me how wonderful I am. Someone I can look at and feel like I can't believe someone as wonderful as that would be all mine.

I know I deserve it. And I know I should be able to get it. I just don't see how right now.

Plan!

2008-10-22T22:08:00.003+02:00

Jag har en helt orealistisk syn på allt jag vill hinna med. Men planen för mitt liv innefattar ändå att jag utöver jobbet (som jag stortrivs på) ska hinna med sakerna. Här är de punkter jag kommer på såhär off the top of my head:

Köpa ny dator
Skaffa lägenhet
Skaffa regelbunden ridning någonstans där jag trivs
Hälsa på i Jokkmokk
Ta ner folk från Jokkmokk på besök
Fara till Stockholm och kompisarna där fler gånger
Festa mer
Njuta av livet mer
Göra färdigt hemsidan
Göra färdigt mina hemliga projekt
Göra mer musik
Göra fler program
Sticka klart koftan som jag startade i somras
Sticka fler grejer
Virka färdigt filten som aldrig vill bli klar
Virka andra grejer
Spela datorspel NÅN gång iaf!
Prata med fler kompisar i telefon
Träffa fler kompisar IRL

Japp! Jag tänker hinna med det och ändå inte behöva sluta hänga med på innebandy med jobbkompisarna på tisdagarna.

Och såklart är detta bara den kortsiktiga planen. Långsiktigt ska jag bland annat antingen skaffa man och barn och villa och hela det kittet, eller så ska jag skaffa ett gäng katter och en villa och sätta mig i en gungstol på altanen och sticka. Och fräsa ilsket till alla som undrar om jag stickar åt barnen.

I ett ännu längre perspektiv ska jag bli en gammal tant som låtsas att hon är en sur kärring och går jättelångsamt med sin breda rullator mitt på trotoaren och med flit knuffar till ungdomar som försöker ta sig förbi. Och så ska jag raljera om den stressade ungdomen som inte har vett att ta tillvara på livet. Och naturligtvis tråka ut folk och fä med utläggningar om hur allt var bättre när jag var ung och att dagens ungdomar har helt spejsade värderingar. Ja, för spejsig kommer vara ett adjektiv som bara används av gamlingar då, förstår ni.

Det är bra med visioner. Fast jag får nog passa mig, för det där med man och barn är inte alls lika lätt att visualisera som gungstolen eller rullatorn. Och man faller ju åt det håll man lutar...

2008-10-20T17:49:00.000+02:00

I get by with a little help from my friends... =)

2008-10-19T22:16:00.002+02:00

Vilken tur att jag skulle till Stockholm igår! För annars hade den dagen bara varit helt crappy.

Nu slutade den iaf bra! Goda vänner, god öl och goda skratt. Kan man önska sig mer? Ja, det kan man ju, men varför fokusera på det man inte har när det som är framför en är så bra?

Idag har varit bakispizza, hemresa (med förseningar i Bålsta, vad annars?) och telefon. Mycket telefon. Bra telefon. =)

Jag hittade en gunga också. Kommer ni ihåg hur skönt det kittlar i magen när man gungar? Om inte, leta genast upp en gunga och prova! Helt underbart!

Ja, jag är medveten om att jag låter helt bipolär här i bloggen, men jag försöker vara lite positiv efter allt negativt nu! Och så skriver jag av mig mina utropstecken här eftersom Stefan sa åt mig att inte använda utropstecken på jobbet!!!!! Haha!

Det här blir helt fjortis. Men jag är ju dubbelfjortis gammal. Och hyperaktiv i munnen (hört från flera källor, så det måste vara sant). Nu ska jag sova.

Mossa mossa på er, alla grankottar! =)

Happy face on?

2008-10-18T14:13:00.003+02:00

När jag rider så gungar jag inte fram hästen med rumpan för att få den att gå framåt. När jag ska ställa den håller jag stadig yttertygeln och leder med innertygel och formar med skänklarna. Jag för alltså inte fram yttertygeln för att på så sätt få hästen att ställa sig inåt. (Som man rör händerna när man cyklar)

Ovanstående är tydligen helt fel.

Lägg till mina vanliga fel: jag drar upp hälen och för bak skänkeln när jag inte alls borde. Jag glömmer att följa med hästens rörelser med händerna och jag håller dem alldeles för lågt (vilket tydligen är rätt). Och så glömmer jag att andas och så spänner jag mig.

Allt ovanstående en dag när man har mens, självförtroendet är i botten, man känner sig dumpad av killar i största allmänhet och man dessutom misstänker att man blivit mer än lovligt kär i en av dem, vilket bara är olyckligt eftersom han inte är HÄR...

Jag vill bara lägga mig ner och gråta!

Men det ska jag inte. Jag ska åka till Stockholm och försöka se glad ut...

Good work!

2008-10-17T18:03:00.002+02:00

Jag har kommit in i jobbet rätt bra nu, känns det som. Emil sa till mig idag att jag är nere på att fråga på 10% av ärendena. Uppskattningsvis. Det lät lågt, men om man inte räknar alla mina "visst är det såhär"-frågor, då är det nog snarare högt räknat! Tror jag iaf. Så det kanske stämmer rätt bra.

Skitkul att Per har börjat också! Man får sällskap till och från jobbet, och det sänker ju telefonräkningen... =)

Och så fick jag sällskap till innebandyn i tisdags också. Och typ coachning. Kunde väl jag behöva, och det gick rätt bra för att vara mig! Fipplade till och med in bollen i mål en gång. Plus i taket! =)

Fast nu har jag fortfarande träningsverk... Och mens... så hur kul blir det att fara och rida Gudruns häst imorrn? Jag vet inte, men jag SKA! =)

Idag kändes det som att jag hade svårt för allt på jobbet. Kände mig lite sänkt pga ont i magen och så, så jag försökte muntra upp mig genom att sjunga kyckling på fredag. Fast det verkar snarare bli räkor och fisk. Går välan lika bra det!

Igår var jag nära att snäsa av en kund eftersom han talade på ett sätt som tryckte på mina knappar. Men jag lyckades hålla mig. Ingen större överraskning iofs. Jag vet när jag inte kan säga vad jag tänker. Dock oroar jag mig för att jag inte gav honom lika bra vägledning som en trevlig kund skulle fått. Fast jag tror att han blev nöjd. Inte lätt att veta... Nu vet jag iaf att anledningen till att mina knappar var så lättryckta var PMS.

Brukar inte jag få mens runt den 25:e? Har det förskjutit sig nu? Illa. Jag hade räknat med att INTE ha mens denna helg... =P

Nu ska jag bädda ner mig och glo på gammal film. Och tycka synd om migsjälv. På det bra sättet, ni vet.

Och ja, detta inlägg blev på svenska, för att översätta allt detta svammel till engelska övergick mitt förstånd just nu.

Am I imagining?

2008-10-13T21:59:00.003+02:00

I wonder if I imagine feelings. I wonder if I look for something that wasn't there to begin with.

But then there is all the evidence. Why would I spend so much time and energy on something if there was nothing there?

Why would getting ignored bug me so much if I didn't care?

Did I keep my distance? No. There was never any distance, and I didn't keep it.

But is it real? It has been so long. It feels like an eternity. I don't remember enough. I have no clue.

I am afraid of the feelings, of what they might mean.

Is it all just an idea to explain why I am feeling like this, or am I feeling like this because of... well the feelings I try to deny I have?

This freaking thing is tearing me apart! I keep lying to myself because I've decided what is right.

Or maybe there just wasn't time enough to say goodbye.

Old and new

2008-10-12T10:15:00.001+02:00

Dire Straits - Brothers In Arms

About feelings and their reasons

2008-10-11T23:13:00.002+02:00

I am convinced that there is a reason for every feeling. Only the reason might not be as easy to figure out as you would think...

Today I have been feeling miserable. Ok, maybe not miserable, but sad. And I have occupied my mind with finding the reason for this. And fighting the urge to look for the reason.

Because it is all so complicated. And if I convince myself of the wrong reason, I might get all hung up on that idea for a long time... This would not be good. This would make me miserable for years, potentially. I know this, because it has happened before. And I really don't want this time to be one of those "All of this has happened before, and will happen again" kind of times.

There is a bunch of people involved in the reason to my confusion. Two of them are guys, and I am not sure which I am more hung up on. I am not sure if I am in love with either, or if I ever was. But I might have been. Or maybe I would have fallen in love with them if I had been given time.

I understand why it's called to have a crush on someone, because it really can crush you!

But I don't want it to this time. I want to keep my distance. I realize the complexity of the matter, and I don't need that stuff right now. But I don't need loneliness either, and that is why I keep getting myself confused.

It might be possible that I confuse confusion with depression. It's bad feelings and I don't like them.

But what am I supposed to do to remove all of these bad feelings? I have no idea, and that bugs the hell out of me! I want my tea drinking nights with Sara! *misses*

About what?

2008-10-11T01:04:00.002+02:00

What's it even all about? Why do I do all the things I do? Is there even a point to it all?

Maybe there is just a bunch of good times, and if you are lucky, there are more good times than bad. If I think about it, there is. There are not many moments in recent years I can call bad.

I think it's because I don't do anything unless I want to. Sometimes I do stuff because they serve another goal. But if there are different ways to reach that goal, I chose the way that suites me best. Mostly, this makes me happy, and gives me good times.

Also I give friends a lot of time. Because friendship needs time. It's just that I know too many people I would like to give all this time, and my time is limited...

Tonight was a good time. Party at Nanna's place, and a lot of nice people there. I feel I absolutely made the right choice of where to be. Next weekend I might go to Stockholm. If nothing else comes up...

But in the end I am left with this empty feeling. I know I try to fill this void with the wrong thing. Or at least I try to get this wrong thing for the wrong reason. Because the void will not be filled. It will be forgotten. And forgetting is not a solution.

I have no idea of how to solve this riddle. Maybe forgetting until you die is a solution if it keeps you happy. But maybe it won't if it is all a lie? How will you tell the lie from the truth if the lie feels more real than anything else you ever felt?

Maybe it will all be clear tomorrow. Another lie... Someone needs to simplify my world for me. This is too confusing.

Wait! what's happening?

2008-10-09T21:02:00.002+02:00

Sometimes it all seems so overwhelming. I bite off more than I can chew, and then I sit around in wonderment over the fact that I am chewing at all...

Sometimes I feel like I am in way over my head. Sometimes I feel in full control. Sometimes I don't know what to feel.

I went riding yesterday. This woman Gudrun has a horse she wants help with. She calls him heart, because he has a white heart on his forehead. And he seems to have a heart of gold too... But there was a long way there, and I got lost on my way home. It was all dark and I was distracted! =)

I think riding that horse would be very good, but maybe I will look for a ridingschool instead. Because I can't figure out how I would manage to get all the way out there each time before it gets all dark. Sadly...

Work is still overwhelming. I know I have learned some stuff, because I don't need to pause every call any more. I can sort out most questions myself.

But there is still so much I can't get a grip on! I know I will eventually, but right now, it can be kind of frightening. But coworkers always help me out when I ask my stupid questions. They are wonderful! That makes me totally not scared to go to work. All good... =)

Tomorrow I will go to Uppsala for a party. I was thinking about going to Stockholm instead, since someone changed the plan all of a sudden. But in the end, I decided to go with my gut feeling, and it said Uppsala. I played around with the idea of Jokkmokk too since a friend turns 30 and has a party, but I would never make it in time. And I am not made of money just because I have a job...

So now I need to figure out what to wear and how to manage it all. =)

Woke up smiling...

2008-10-06T18:21:00.002+02:00

...which was really surprising considering some stuff happened last night, that really did not make me happy. But then I had a nice long conversation with a friend. That cheered me up. And then me and dad watched the first episode of Pistvakt. Mindless comedy and nostalgia... Sometimes that is just what you need.

Maybe I smiled when waking up because I have a job I like and actually like living with my father. And also my alarm is set to nice piano music by Rob Costlow... That makes me happy.

And I still have a bunch of wonderful friends. I don't have time to call them all as much as I would like, but that doesn't mean I like them any less! They seem to get that, which is good...

So mostly my life is wonderful. But... still... it's kind of surprising that I managed to see that right there and then. Oh well, as long as I am happy, I am glad! ;)

More hours, please!

2008-10-01T22:02:00.003+02:00

Ok, ok... I know that in order to maintain order in the universe, it is probably not a good idea to start moving the earth around in a totally different pace all of a sudden. Let alone the changes most people seem to want to make to the space time continuum. I am of course talking about the fact that it would be handy if we had a few hours more each day.

Wanting this is probably a sign of life enjoyment. It certainly feels that way to me. So why complain?

The new job seem to be going well. Noone has yelled at me yet, so I guess I haven't done anything stupid yet... =) I actually think I am doing rather well, even though I get overwhelmed by the amount of information I need to gather before I can consider myself to know most of the stuff customers would ask about. There is a lot! But it is interesting, and I keep imagining knowing all that stuff. Can't wait.

Imagining a successful state is supposed to help you get there. That's why I do it. And it feels good too...

Today I had trouble leaving. It's easy to get into a flow-like state. But I had to. The workday was over and my brain didn't really follow me around... ehm...? That sentence was weird... :)

Anyways, I don't seem to have time to do all the fun stuff on my free time. I knew this would happen! I had time off and got used to doing a lot of stuff, and now I want to keep doing what took me all day before. And I keep fooling myself to think it is doable after work. Silly... =)

But it is all good. This is the life I wanted. I just need to get my routine down. It takes a while, you know!

I was going to try and finish up the new version of my website (vidde.org) tonight, but since I have this cold or whatever it is, I better not poke around with it. My brain stops working... Better go to sleep now, actually. My brain better work tomorrow!

Too tired

2008-09-26T23:46:00.005+02:00

I was extremely tired all day today. I think it was because I drank too much coffee yesterday and got all worked up about everything.

See, I have been trying to drink less coffee, and I had managed to get it down to only coffee in the morning. But yesterday I inhaled coffee.

-Do you like coffee?
-Only with my oxygen
(Gilmore Girls)

And the results... Can you get hung over from a coffee high? Because I think I was today. =)

But yesterday was fun. I bought a bookcase for my room and put it together by myself. I tried to get dad to relax while I did it, because we don't work well together... or we do, but we both get super stressed. The bookcase turned out really good, but it needs like 2 shelves added to it. In addition to the extra one I already bought. Silly thing: IKEA only has extra shelves in glass for BILLY. At least that was what the paper I got hold of said. But it looks kind of nice, so I am not complaining... =)

In the evening I went down to meet some friends at centrum. Or rather, I went to meet a co-worker (Blund). Even though I haven't started yet! ^^ And Larsa decided to meet us, and then we ran into some people from Ducknet. Geez, that was a long time ago (playing CS, I mean)...

Even though Mr Blund tricked me to walk alone with him at night in tunnels and through trees and stuff I was totally unharmed and got home allright! Haha! I am joking, but he did take me to such places... =) Jokes aside, I am looking forward to work among such nice people!

Then there was this whole idea that Larsa was joking around with, that I was actually on a date. Was I? That was not my idea for the whole thing. Larsa is evil. =)

Got the job!

2008-09-20T07:00:00.003+02:00

They called me yesterday! I had given up hope of hearing from them since it was later than 17:00. Stupid, when I think about it...

I was driving the car at the time. I had just picked up my father, and we had a hysteric time as usual. When the phone started to ring, dad started yelling at it, and I thought it was too much to answer the phone during all this, so I untangled the handsfree (I think I want a bluetooth one) and gave dad the phone to answer. Ofcourse, he got confused, since my phone is Nokia, and his is Sony Ericsson.

There was confusion and yelling and during all this, I realized that the phone had been answered and the call was going on. So I listened and said "Hello?".

Emil at my new workplace was laughing. Then he told me they want me! I start at the end of the month if they don't get a workstation working before that. Because I told them I can start now. Right away.

I mean, I don't really know what to do with myself. Yesterday I went down to city and bought myself two wonderful sweaters. But I can't do that all the time! =)

Patch!

2008-09-19T08:15:00.002+02:00

I told you there was a patch coming out, Henka!

A view of the world

2008-09-19T07:13:00.003+02:00

I think I keep seing the world as I hope it is. Whenever I don't know how things work, I make up the logic behind it and then see it like that.

I have at least two good friends that challenge my sometimes fixed views on my surroundings. I hope they never stop doing that!

I sometimes have a hard time expressing my appreciation of my friends. I hope they know how much they mean to me anyway... Or am I hoping again?

So tired

2008-09-18T21:28:00.002+02:00

I got up way too early today. Then I got all nervous before the interview. I don't know what kind of impression I made, but it did not feel good...

I am too tired to think what to do about it right now, because I went over to Amberion and helped him move his stuff together with Manne. Then we had pizza, and mine was way too big. I shouldn't eat anything for a week now, I think! =P Shouldn't have eaten it all...

Plan for tomorrow; a good walk around the city before going to eat at Bredbar at 13:00. I hope I manage to follow through with that plan. I have been sitting still for way too long now!

Good night!

Second interview

2008-09-18T08:28:00.003+02:00

I am going back today to have a second interview! I jumped up and down a few times after I got called back. =) I really really hope I get this job. It would mean no more hating my job!

Most people hopefully don't understand what I mean (I want everybody to be happy alla the time), but I have been working at places where I just can't find any meaning. Posten... Making commersial pieces that everybody hates to get in the mail... And being yelled at for not doing it fast enough. What's the bleeding point?

And while I found it fun to work in Ritsem, I could never see myself there for the rest of my life. I just don't feel for tourism. I can't see what is so important about it. Sure, it is nice to go away sometimes and look at stuff you never see at home. But does it make the world a better place? I am not sure.

What I am trying to say is that I think working at this place could give me that satisfaction of doing something that actually helps people. In the field I am interested in.

Well, I should go and eat breakfast. It is dangerous to keep you laptop next to your bed! =)

New functions...

2008-09-17T18:35:00.004+02:00

There. Now there is a "jump to"-button on jokkmokksridklubb.se. It helps navigating, and also it helped me find useless sub pages that someone had added. That's good...

And because it seemed stupid not to have it, I made so that you can now add a listing of sub categories to a page.

Oh, and while in Ritsem I made it so that you can upload pictures using the browser (before you needed to upload them using ftp, and that clearly did not work), and a function that keeps track of updated pages, so that members instantly can tell if a sub page is updated! =)

Now, I just hope Ingela gets my tutorial and uploads needed files to the page!

While doing all this I have been streaming music from Last.fm:

I missed my Last.fm!

Now, I think I will try and do something I haven't done in a long while; make som music! there just haven't been time for things like that while working in Ritsem. Too little computer time at home (laptop gets confused by Reason)...

Bye for now!

Moved

2008-09-16T08:25:00.002+02:00

I have now completed the moving of myself and my stuff to a new town. Or rather, a new place. I have lived in Västerås before, but never in my fathers apartment. Most of my stuff is still in boxes, but I have the most important stuff. My computers and some clothes...

I had an interview yesterday for a job that I really want. I hope I get it! I hope that charm I seem to have worked yesterday too! It felt good. But it was actually the first real interview I ever had. Everytime before it has just been "well, you look normal, start on monday!" Well, nothing I can do right now. Just wait and see. But it is not easy...

*misses Jokkmokk*

New mobile

2008-08-25T22:38:00.002+02:00

I finally got my new mobile! It isn't purple, as I was promised it would be, but it sure is nice! The best part is the camera, wich I have been playing with today. Instead of packing my stuff, as I should be... =)

Here is the result:

Ny Mobilkamera

Changes...

2008-08-12T12:03:00.003+02:00

Big stuff is happening. Too much, actually. I don't even know where to start, so I just handle one thing at the time.

Micke and I broke up. No point in trying to tell the world why. It was complicated, and it just wasn't right anymore.

So now I need a plan. I feel somewhat lost. Good thing I just ordered a mobile phone with GPS! =) And a better camera. I need a good camera in my phone. Well, I don't need it, but I sure miss it when I don't have it!

The immediate plan is to keep working in Ritsem untill the middle of september. Then I will probably move in with my father in Västerås and try to get a job. I am trying to get information from Mälardalens Högskola, because I would like to get some education finnished that can get me a job! I would like to work with computers in some way, so that is the plan...

I just applied for a job in Västerås too. I hope I can be what they are looking for. I think that would be perfection for the time being. School will probably not happen untill some time next year.

But what about the cats??? I can see that Benjamin is really happy here. He even gained some weight and he is eating whatever food I give him. Zelda still is not too happy with him, but it seems they have accepted eachother and I think they even have some fun together sometimes.

But what will happen to them now? I will leave, and what is Micke going to do? Noone knows, not even him. He says it's not much of a point staying if I'm not here, so where will our kitties live? If worst comes to worst, I guess I can bring them with me. But I don't think they will be too happy about that. Even though I would not like to be separated from Benjamin at least. He is my sisters cat, and I feel to much responsibility for him just to leave him somewhere with someone he doesn't know...

It's hard, all this! And I am going to be separated from my good friend Sara and Henka and Sofie... I don't like that. At least with my new phone-deal, I will be talking for free to mobile phones with halebop and telia. So I can have long conversations with them without having to tell them to hang up since I don't want to pay the bills... But it's a small comfort.

But when I say I will come and visit, I really mean it! Airplane tickets are not that expensive nowadays (cheaper than the train in my experience), and if someone come and get me in Luleå, no problems. We will work that out, ok?

Now I have to write a list of food to eat in Ritsem and go pack. Then I have to buy the food too. I will be back in 12 days. Bleh. I want to be here and drink tea with my friends...

Untill next time: *hugs*

Handväska - privatliv

2008-07-25T08:13:00.002+02:00

Läs

Kitties

2008-07-18T20:01:00.000+02:00

To play or not to play

2008-07-18T11:57:00.003+02:00

I still really really want the game. Allthough I must say that the initial excitement has calmed quite a bit. It's down to "want" from "have to"... And then there is this whole thing about Securom and needing an internet connection to be able to play. And the rumors that you will only be allowed three installs, and that you can use them up if you upgrade hardware and/or have a system crash etc.

Then there is the whole issue with "if you are a paying costumer, we will treat you like a criminal, but if you are a pirate, we will ignore you since you are probably making commercial for our product"... At least that is the way I percieve things. You only hear about crappy DRM being put on discs that are being sold, but you never hear about the same company searching and punishing people downloading cracked versions of the same product.

Maybe that is because I live under a rock, as my mother call it. I don't have TV in my home, so I have no idea about what commercials/shows are shown on there. But I do keep in touch with reality. I am not sure people with TV do.

Anyways. Everything about Securom screams to me not to buy any product with it on, but every fiber in my being tells me pirating Spore would be so horrible too. Since it is a really innovative game and I want more of that kind to be produced.

So here I stand. No idea what to do when the release date comes. One plan is to check forums and see if people are enjoying the game or dealing with securom and used up activations... But it doesn't feel like a good plan.

Anyone have a good idea for a plan for me???

Swedish translator needed?

2008-07-18T11:49:00.002+02:00

Translation back to english: (1) Native, One of your friend has a crushing on you.

Torsk med äggsås

2008-07-14T22:21:00.002+02:00

It's one of my fauvorite foods. Too bad it takes a long while to make it.

Take some frozen cod fillet (only this time I am using something labeled "hoki" since I seem to remember hearing something about cod being in danger of extinction)
Put the fish as it is in some kind of container that can endure the heat of the oven
Turn the oven on and put some onions and salt and pepper on the fish
Possibly put some water on the fish
Put it all in the oven
Boil some eggs and dice them
Melt some butter in a saucepan together with a bouillon cube (of wich kind you like. I am using a vegetable one today)
Add som flour.
Stir for a while
Remove from heat
But in some of the water from the fish (if there is any) and some tap water
Stir
Put back on the heat and stir untill a satisfactory consistency is achieved
Put the eggs on top of the fish and put the sauce on top of that
Let it all sit in the oven for a really long while. Possibly stir from time to time to see what is up with the fish. Add some water if nessecary
Depending of the consistency of it all, serve as soup or with potatoes or something

Yes, I do realize that I have no clue about timespans or quantities. I never do. I just can't see the fun in creating if I am measuring it all... Maybe I will boil some potatoes now! =)

I want one!

2008-07-13T23:41:00.005+02:00

Came home, turned my computer on, and there it was. Some kind uf cup made out of silicon to use instead of everything else when on a period.

It seems kind of gross, but then again everything about having your period is! Everytime. With this, at least there is some money saved since you can use the same one for 10 years. Plus it is environmental and stuff. You even get less risk of fungus and other unpleasant stuff. I googled it and ordered it right away. If it works, then fine. If not, not much money lost.

Johanna Nylander also likes this invention.

More fun with spore... =)

2008-06-22T23:01:00.001+02:00

Our new family member

2008-06-22T15:35:00.003+02:00

My mother has sold her house and due to allergies and other circumstances, Benjamin the cat had nowhere to live. Ofcourse such a sweet cat could stay with us!
14 hours of car was less painful then expected. He even went in the litterbox while the car was moving. Allthough, if he was a human, he would probably have cursed a lot. It sounded like that was what he was doing... =)

Zelda accepts him, but tells him to hold his distance. This is her house, and he shouldn't expect getting to change anything, you know. I think they will become friends later on.

Lol

2008-06-19T00:21:00.002+02:00

I am extremely tired. Have been going by car for 14 hours. But this was fun! =)

SCC

2008-06-17T12:35:00.005+02:00

Gah. Stupid slow internet connection... I suppose I will have to wait for a while before using Spore Creature Creator. And also, I seem to need to upgrade. 2Ghz? So ka? Nandattebayo! I don't have that!

Anyways, the free version can be downloaded from here.

Direct link

Bye bye, childhood home...

2008-06-08T20:19:00.001+02:00

My mother has almost sold our house. We are now sorting our childhood. Things will never be the same. But then again, they never could be anyway.

Treenigheten

2008-06-03T12:09:00.005+02:00

I was sort of playing (more like fiddling around) with the facebook app "(Lil) Green Patch". I thought it was badly written.

You can send flowers to your friends for free, but only a sertain amount every something-hours. Then you can go around to your friends patches with accepted flosers on them and take care of them. This costs (game)money and will earn you game money. If you don't take care of the flowers... NOTHING happens!

Silly! It should always be like at least three steps! Like; you do something to gain a currency of some kind (money/experience/whatever), and then use that currency to do a third, wich helps you do the first.

More steps could be good, but I have a feeling that three is a magic number.

Game developers, this is an important rule! Otherwise, the player will start thinking too much about why the game is being played.

In the case of the green patch it would be easily solved. Sending flowers cost money, taking care of other peoples flowers earns you money, and the more flowers you have the more it will cost you to take care of them. Sounds hard to get a grip on? Good! You are not supposed to get a grip on the game dynamics right away. Strategys should take some effort to make...

Evilsistah has a blog!

2008-06-03T11:56:00.002+02:00

Hopefully she will use it to write all the thoughts she has. I know there is a lot of them, and I really look forward to reading them.

Evilsis' blog

Hmmm... I wonder if we will get a lot of environmental propaganda over there? ;)

Labels

2008-06-03T11:54:00.002+02:00

I didn't really understand that label-thing when I started using it. Now it is just a mess, but I recently understood what it could be good for, so I will try to clean it all up, but there is ALOT of messy labels, so don't expect them to make sence anytime soon... Btw, how to spell nosence? Is it in fact nonsense?

This blog is not approved by the swedish government

2008-06-02T10:05:00.003+02:00

I just read that several newspapers will have the same headline on the front page today. That they are not approved by the government.

My thoughts immediately goes to the fact that if you want the constitutional right of free speach on your blog, you need to register it with the government and apparently pay 2000 SEK.

I can't afford that even if I do have a job! I would have been able to afford it if the income from the blog was more than that. But ehm... I don't make much if any money from this... I had some TLA's for a while but they went away for some reason. Maybe because I stopped linking to DN to get more readers...

Anyways, the POINT is that "speach" definately should be redefined. If I go out and shout about what I have written in my blog, I suppose I have the freedom of speach, but as long as I write it in my blog, I don't.

So if I write about someone here, I might have to tell FRA or whoever about the identity of that person. That sux harder than Bill Gates...

Tired

2008-06-02T09:43:00.003+02:00

It's amazing that you can be so grumpy and tired, and then just drink some coffee and turn on some music and go to a party and have all the energy in the world!

A bunch of old friends from ducknet had gathered at Larssas place. Then we had a party with all the traditions from the parties of the days when I was living here. Including Larssa hitting girls in the but, and the revenges that follows...

I had an amazing time, but we should never have left that small apartment. It's always the same. Once in a noisy place (Blue Moon Bar), you lose sight of everyone one by one. Aparently that was because they all went home, but I had myself a little dancing and tipping of other peoples drinks before I went home. *evil* No I didn't mean to...

All yesterday was just tired and hot. But I managed to walk all the way to Djäkneberget and meet Per. Mohadib, as the tatoo on his arm says. The other arm is going to say Linus, as in his son. He was also there with Jessica and Per's mother.

Then I went down to Larssa to fetch my shirt that had been sadly forgotten in a corner when we left.

Then home again, and watched Naruto for the rest of the day. I fell asleep at five or something, wich made me wake up at 3:30 this morning... Watched Naruto for a while, and then slept some more.

A party can really mess you up! =) I will try to make something of this day. Don't know what yet...

Food?

2008-05-31T15:10:00.005+02:00

So goddamn tired! I want to be sparkly and happy. I want to write down all the deep thoughts I had last night after watching "Into the wild", but bloodsugar is low, and it was next to impossible to sleep last night. It was warm, and there was too much light and I kept remembering nightmares instead of having peaceful thoughts. In the end the sun rose, and sleeping would have never occured if I hadn't put my freestyle on and went to sleep emptying the battery completely.

BBQ soon. I want to have more time! There is never time to process all the movies taken with the mobile and there is never any time to do anything. There is always the next thing that needs to be done. Right now I should probably go down to help dad with the fire and carry the table... I should probably do something else too, but GAH! I don't want to!

I look forward to getting to my moms place. There is no internet there, but on the other hand, it's in the middle of nowhere in spite of it being so close (?) to Stockholm. So nothing ever happens there... Not if you don't make it happen. Wich I probably will... But evenings are usually early there. I think. So sleeping might occurr...

Anyways. Will try to get some food now.

Quote of the day

2008-05-29T10:24:00.002+02:00

Ingen mjölk till kaffet?!?!? Det här är värsta U-landet, juh!

Elin would like milk in her coffee...

spending time with my father

2008-05-28T11:59:00.004+02:00

If someone was wondering about where I got my ways, I got them from this dude:
He has got to be the funniest dad ever! =) And we have such good times together. He told me that one day with me was worth a year in therapy. And I allmost killed one of his friend by making him laugh... It's so nice to be appreciated! Not that I am not at home, but still...

The summer is a little bit earlier here than in Jokkmokk. This picture was taken out the window yesterday morning:

I like all the leafy trees! I really miss big leafes at home... Birch trees have small leafes. And there aren't a whole lot of them. Maple is my fauvorite...

Anyways, today my sister will come! I'm taking her shopping first chance I get. She is like the expert on that sort of things. Only problem is I am crazy, and she doesn't like my taste... =)

The sickest feature of facebook yet

2008-05-23T19:49:00.004+02:00

It has to be this pet-function thingie. You can buy other people as pets, and when you do, they go up in value.

Ok, so whoever owns me wins! ;) I am here.

Spore videos

2008-05-23T14:47:00.005+02:00

No more horses! Please!

2008-05-22T00:06:00.004+02:00

I never thought I would say that, but today I was not in the mood at all! I won't write too much about horses on this blog anymore, because I set a new shiny one up. It's my personal riding journal, and it can be found here. It will (I think) remain in swedish, because while I enjoy writing in english and getting better at it, I don't want to lose my own language (fat chance, but still), and I don't want to deal with the troubles the language can give me when writing in english.

Not many days left before I leave now. I have horsed around enough it feels, both my knees are blue now and I am sore all over. I also put up all (?) files that is necessary on jokkmokksridklubb.se

I had to update it a little to make it look good. I only wish that it was as intuitive as I intended it to be. Ingela didn't manage to upload files last time, and I see that as a failure on my part. I have no idea what is wrong with the design though. It is all so obvious to me! Ofcourse I am blinded by familiarity (hemmablind).

And by design I don't exactly mean appearance. Design is so much more than that. It is everything about how a thing works. So many people forget about that.

Have you noticed that my blog is all chaotic lately? Or maybe it was all along. But now I started to make these rambling posts that really are not about anything and is about everything at the same time! There is no order!

And Ingela thought I had autistic tendencies, because I got all anxiety-like when she started to change plans at the last minute. Well hey! I like knowing what to do and when! And I like knowing it in plenty of time, because I do things slowly! Or maybe I just like order, I don't know. Yes I do. I LIKE order! I like my CD's in a specific order. Not by artist or album name or anything, but the ones played last at one end. That way I can start choosing from the other end and get the ultimate variety. Only I need a long shelf for that, and I have them tucked into BENNO from IKEA. I think it was called BENNO.

I am just off on a tangent now, and if noone stops me I will probably go on all... *gets hit by a ninja*

Blue knee

2008-05-19T03:14:00.003+02:00

My knee is blue. I think Talar accidently stepped on me in that video in my last post... =) But we were out dancing this friday, and there was no worries. Only the worlds longest hangover, but that was self inflicted... =)

I get irritated about a bunch of things while reading blogs. One of them is the fact that we will soon be living in 1984, and noone seems to realize it except for all the members of piratpartiet. Other people just shake their heads and think about paranoid people. This is Sweden, after all, and stuff like that just doesn't happen here. The worst thing about being watched by FRA all the time is that when it comes to filesharing, human rights doesn't seem important to the swedish justice system. Neither does proper evidence or right to atturney or any of that stuff. See if you are an evil pirate, you don't have the same rights as the rest of society. And there is no need to prove that you are. If you are a suspect, you've allready lost your rights. I draw this conclusion after filesharers have been judged on the basis of screenshots and TPB's lawyer being arrested along with his clients. It's apparently illegal to defend filesharing, even if you are not doing it yourself. That is why it is perfectly ok to take Piratbyråns computer. They are after all fighting for the right to do things the Pirate Bay allready does, so they must be guilty too...

Another thing is actually gamers inability to defend computergames correctly. You CANNOT say that they are as harmless as a movie with the same violence. If you do, then you are very vulnerable for the arguments that:

A movie doesn't last nearly as long as the time a kid will spend in front of a game
When you are watching a movie you are not participating in the actions on the screen. In a game you are, and the psycological effects WILL be bigger.

What is important is that most people who is debating this issue all had their personality shaped by their parents, siblings and other humans. Then when they got to play games, it was just for fun.

Now, imagine those who got placed in front of the tv or the computer playing some game while the parents did something else but raising the kid (yes, it happens, and no those are not healthy families, but it happens). The kid (I am now not talking about a kid in his or her teen, but an actual child) gets his/her social training by slaying his/her friends. Hmmm... Not watching murders on tv, but actually committing them. Are you seriously going to tell me that this is not going to affect the kid? Noone is going to believe that.

Now, the real problem ofcourse is that kids need to get attention from human beings IRL. They need to learn to be social, and some kids don't get this. They probably would turn out just as peculiar if they where left to stare at the flowers on the wall. Maybe.

Anyways, did I allready make a post about this? Then I am probably repeating myself.

In other news: I tried making music tonight. I have been missing it, but I am still no good at it, and it still frustrates me that what I create is nowhere near what I had in mind. I like my music better after a long while, when I have forgotten what I was trying to do... =P If the song ever gets finnished, I will give it to you as usual. No sence in putting stupid DRM on it or something. Music will die anyway according to Ifpi, since noone will buy any if they can get it for free.

HOW WILL I BE ABLE TO GET MUSIC FOR FREE IF NOONE IS MAKING IT??? Gah! There just isn't any sence in what they are saying, and filesharing isn't killing anything. It hasn't for ten years, why should it now when the industry is making more money than ever???

Gah. Too much negativity!!! Here is some joy: *Waves hand and gives joy in all direction a'la Phoebe*

New horse video

2008-05-15T21:40:00.004+02:00

It's me jumping with Talar again:

I also updated this album with pictures from the day before yesterday. Here is some of them:

And this one is from today:

How statistics lie or tell the truth?

2008-05-14T17:31:00.004+02:00

My friend Henka has been telling me that games sell better on consols. I have taken his word for it, figuring that he probably got his facts all gathered before he said anything about it.

Today he posted the source of this info.

There is some conclusions I can draw from this picture. The first is that only two platforms beat the PC ever. It was PS2 in Q3 Fiscal year 2008, and the Xbox360 in Q2-Q4 FY2008.

Now the reasons for this, I cannot know. I have only kept myself updated on two games lately; Sims and Spore. I have no idea what awesomeness they made on the 360 that made everyone send EA their money. Maybe I should look into it, but then again I don't have a 360, and I don't think I need one...

The second conclusion is that for the most part, PC beats all other platforms, income-wise. No real shock to me. Everybody has one, unlike the various consols that you can't update to work with new games. That is why I am allways hesitant to buy any consol. You can't know beforehand how many great games will be made for that particular machine, and you can't mix and match...

Third: with those sad numbers I can't really expect any new games for my wonderful gamecube. =( But I didn't anyway. Can you use a GC-pad for the wii? Because they fit my hands so well... =)

Fourth: With those sad numbers, is it even worth it to buy a wii? Maybe they will stop making games for it real soon?

Anyways, saying that games sell better on consol than on PC... well that might still be true if you talk about scertain releases and during some limitied timeperiod, but you really can't make that conclusion from these numbers, so I will not draw any sort of conclusion about it.

And comparisons between the total consol-numbers and PC-numbers is just not relevant to anything. I mean, they are different machines with different technology. It's not like the work effort to make a game for all the consols is the same as making the same game for just PC, is it?

How Movies Were Rented In The Past

2008-05-14T17:26:00.002+02:00

I found this clip via Rick Falkvinge:

Historic â��Blockbusterâ�� Store Offers Glimpse Of How Movies Were Rented In The Past

It is amazing that I used to be such a costumer and now agree with the visitors of the museum... Time flies, and I don't think it will be going back.

Jumping...

2008-05-14T00:39:00.000+02:00

Stuff in general

2008-05-12T19:42:00.004+02:00

Here is some pictures that Micke took of me on a horse:

Jag till häst

In other news, I am now back from Ritsem, will be in Jokkmokk for a little while untill my trip down south.

The snow is gone for the most part. Some still remains, and there is water like everywhere! I allmost had to swim to get to the stable yesterday. I was going there to do my bit of work for the "stallpass". If all of them was as easy as that, I wouldn't mind more of them. Ofcourse it helped that I have gotten used to getting up early.

I never thought I could do that, but this morning I woke up at 6:00 and could not fall asleep again. So I got up and got ALL the paperwork done. It is gone now. We have been agonized by the thought of it for so long, and all it took was going up crazy early and just doing it. If only I had known...

Plans for the evening is making a draft for a website. Yet another one. But this one I should have done ages ago... I'm not even sure why I didn't...

For no apparent reason: *poof*

Life is good... and fast!

2008-05-06T07:41:00.005+02:00

I have springtime feelings. Last week it felt like I was going a thousand miles per hour, doing something every moment. This week I have calmed down. But I am still so happy that the snow is finally melting away, and the birds are here now.

Tonight is exciting; we will be jumping with the horses! Weee! Fun! =) And a little scary. If I get the same horse as last week, Talar, then I am really nervous. He is big, jumpy and I don't really trust him. But I do like him. And I will use the present my mom gave me for christmas; safety vest. It feels like a stiff life jacket, but safety first!

About the declaration of income (yes, I realize that it is most likely called something else, but you understand what I mean, yes?), when skatteverket.se finally decided to open, it was piece of cake. Just click-click-done. Especially since I paid 87 SEK to Aktieinvest so that they made my K4 for me. Wonderful! I don't need to get rid of them anymore! =)

I am so happy too, because the wesite is clearly being used, and it seems to work well. Finally! I did all that work so that I could have a site to go to to check for UPDATED info about what is going on down at the stable. Now I can! =)

Tomorrow I am off to Ritsem again. I am getting home the 10:th, and then commences my summer break. I am happy for all the time off, but I am not really counting days, because I am still really happy working there!

Never thought I would find a job like that. And certainly not that it would be a job like THAT! ;)

Idiots

2008-05-01T06:25:00.002+02:00

I thought it was time to make my deklaration of income to skattemyndigheten. But if you are up early like me, it's not. You have to wait untill 7:00.

Why? It's not like someone over there has to keep a generator for the site going by hand, is it? I can understand if their phone-support is closed, but can't I have the opportunity to make my mistakes while they sleep?

Aparently not.

I'm whining a lot lately, am I not? I really am not, but that is all that makes its way to this page... =)

I am actually pretty happy. We had a wonderful sunny day yesterday and I helped JRK at their annual valborg-fire. It didn't look as huge as yesteryear, probably because I was all shocked by it's size last year!

I still want to know if the design on their page looks messed up on any browser still, or if I finally made it. Tell me!

Form in a form

2008-04-30T08:50:00.005+02:00

Apparently I am a very bad programmer. I thought it looked good, and it worked nicely... in firefox. A tip to everyone else out there:

Internet Explorer does not handle a form inside a form.

Perhaps Firefox shouldn't either, but it was so nice of it to do!

So now I have to go back to my original solution; put part of the contents at the end of the page and only leaving a marker saying that is where it belongs...

Internet Exploder sux.

Better?

2008-04-30T01:45:00.000+02:00

Does it look any better?

Public

2008-04-29T17:00:00.003+02:00

Ingela liked the new site. She told me to put it as default. I don't think she really got the concept of "news", though. She told me to remove the old news on the page. I'll try to explain tonight.

Here it is!

All swedish readers, please tell me all that is wrong with it, so I can fix it! ;)

Internet Explorer... sigh

2008-04-29T09:03:00.004+02:00

As usuall the page I've been making just look like it exploded when viewed in IE (internet exploder). I solved it for now (in a hurry) by making a special .css that can be used without anything exploding in ones face...

But I do know how ugly that kind of solution is. How do you all do it? (Yes, Andreas, I am looking at your direction... ;))

I would like to use em for every single thing. So that when I change textsize in my browser, the whole page looks the same, only bigger. Is that even possible outside my protected world of firefox? Maye it's not. Maybe I'll spend next week remaking my css so that it gets more fixed in size and less flexible and more boring... =P

Trip down south

2008-04-22T12:41:00.003+02:00

I'm planning a trip to my parents during the summer. I want to see everybody, and I miss the climate. The nature is quite different here. In my eyes there are a lot of things missing and not so many things we don't have down south.

I'm not being negative, it is just that everybody seems to love the way the nature is where they grew up. Me too. And this freaking sun is driving me crazy! All of a sudden it goes up REALLY early! I wake up at 4am and have trouble sleeping since it is pretty much daylight.

This kind of happens in the other end of the country too, but it takes longer. You have time to get used to it. Here the sun is going in crazy cirkles and I get so confused (a-cat)!

Anyways, seems like I will be going around 24-25:th of may and coming back for midsummer. I will be in Västerås untill like June 4:th and then in Hölö the rest of the time.

INVITATION: You want to see me when I am near you? You want to come here on midsummer? Just send me a message somehow. Call me, comment here on the blog, send an email... We'll fix it!

Manne and Moha, this time you won't get away! =)

Confuse-a-cat

2008-04-22T08:20:00.001+02:00

Whenever I say "confuse-a-cat", I mean that I feel like I am the cat in this sketch:

Traveling all day tomorrow

2008-04-16T09:52:00.004+02:00

It seems ALL day tomorrow will be traveling. I need to go by bus since the car is broken and we don't want to drive the small car we have that far.

What about bus then? Well I will go by bus either to vägskäl Ritsem, wait hours and then take the bus to Ritsem. Or I can go by the same bus all the way to Gällivare and then take that same bus to Ritsem. It will be more expensive, but I don't have to stand around in the cold.

Or I can pay someone to drive me to vägskäl Ritsem (just above Porjus). I just don't know who I can ask...

EDIT: Thanks to extremely nice people the thing is now solved. Andreas father is going to let me wait at his place and then drive me to the bus. This part of the country really is filled with nice warmhearted people. How could anyone want to live anywhere else?

Horses makes me well

2008-04-15T23:38:00.002+02:00

Some people told me not to get on a horse today. I crashed a car yesterday after all. But I could only feel that acting sick and not doing what I love to do would make me feel sick and probably make me sick for real. So I did not want to listen to them. My mother agreed, and there is always the choice to stop what you are doing if it doesn't feel right.

But ofcourse it felt wonderful! Even if painful (bareback on a horse with more spine than muscles). I brought my neighbours employee from Holland too. She wants to learn swedish and has had three horses back in holland...

She is a nice person. I am going over there tomorrow to se how she milks cows.

Speaking of wich; did you know that I have never milked a cow? How is that even possible when I grew up next to my grandparents farm and they had 18 cows? I guess I always felt like I was in everyones way over there and that they just wanted me to go play somewhere else... Don't know if that was true or not.

I'm going to lay down my tired head now. =)

Up side down

2008-04-15T11:38:00.005+02:00

Yesterday ended in a way that I've been kind of expecting a long time. Crashed the car. Got upsidedown and thought I was going to die. I didn't. Whoever is watching over me did his/her/their job and all that happened to me was I bumped my head against the ceiling of the car. The car is now garbage thanks to my not so limited speed. I was not breaking any laws, but I went against common sence. Didn't concentrate enough. I wasn't particularly tired or anything, had just been driving too long not to notice that I should have lowered the speed a lot...

I don't want to go into it more than that right now. Not that it hurts to talk/write about it, just that I've been telling so many people what happened and I am starting to get fed up with doing so.

But call me and I'll tell you. =)

The worst thing was the chock that came afterwards. I got out easily since I had education in getting out of an upside car. Thank my protector for that! But then came the realization that I could have died and that the car was broken. And I cried. Then I closed the door to the memory for a while and was calm and laughing. Then opened it again and was terrified and crying. I told everyone I was in chock and was to be kept warm. Then the ambulance came and they checked everything at the hospital. Everything seemed to be ok and they sent me home in a taxi.

Thankyou to all the people that stopped on the road and hugged me and got me to sit in a hot car! People are wonderful!

Now I am waiting for Vårdcentralen to call me. I need to ask if it is considered rehabilitation or dangerous to put me on a horse today... =) I would say rehabilitation but...

Kuriren: 1 2

Different people, different worlds

2008-04-09T22:09:00.003+02:00

I just read this, and I was reminded of how different worlds we all live in. Sometimes I wonder if there is two people that sees the world in the same way, or if noone can ever really quite understand an other person...

When I read Susannes thoughts (or rather, the ones she chooses to put on the internet) I am most often amazed at how different she sees the world. What is important to her is just background noise for me. Why do I read her blog then? Because it amazes me...

I have a long list of blogs that I read and I think that it has gotten so long because I like visiting different worlds. It's like my own world is my home, and by reading other peoples views, I am able to leave my mental home.

I know that the above WILL be misunderstood. I do get out physically, you know. But that is not enough for me.

Hmmm... My mental life is far more important to me than my physical life. I wonder if that can ever be explained to some people?

Experiment: look at a bowl of buttermilk (ska vara filmjölk. Är det rätt översättning?). Can you eat it? (assuming you have no allergies or such) Yes. Ok. Now take the same buttermilk and make some dip for your crisps by putting in some onions. Now, can you eat it? Tastes good, right? Now take away the crisps. Can you still eat it, or is it now disgusting? For me it is not. For me it is actually delicious. But I have to hide to eat it...

Medelålders?

2008-04-09T21:56:00.002+02:00

Ja, det känns nästan så ibland... Som att jag vid någon punkt också missade att det var då jag borde skaffa barn. Nåja, än är väl inte klimakteriet och bultar på dörren?

Sofie tipsar om denna sida, som glatt meddelar att:

Din vuxenpoäng är: 19.2

Din ålder borde vara 35.6 enligt Sveriges Vuxenpoängsstyrelse

This is how it is

2008-04-09T10:51:00.002+02:00

I am incredibly strong. Stronger than you can imagine me to be. I show all kind of signs of weakness, because I just don't care. I don't care if you see me as weak, because what's important to me is my true strength.

I fall easily, but what makes me so strong is that I am not even afraid to fall. I know that whenever I fall, I will rise again with new strength and more knowledge than before. I know I can handle any kind of breakdown, because I have done it so many times before.

This gives me a sence of security whatever I am doing.

And before I even start doing something I've never done before, my experience tells me without any doubts that I will be able to pull anything off. I know I can do anything as long as I don't give up. I refuse to give up even after I've fallen a bunch of times.

You can never beat me down since I can handle breaking. That is true strength.

Things I've learned from Naruto

2008-03-26T10:07:00.005+01:00

Naruto is a japanese series about a young boy who is training to be a ninja. Me and Micke started watching it because he had seen some students of his watching it in class, and we were curious. Ofcourse the students should have done other stuff... Anyways at first I thought it was all like a fun way to spend time and nothing more. The story was childish and the characters where just... funny. But after a while I started noticing that they have actually put some japanese wisdom in there. Here is some of it:

Everyone is strong in their own way. Even if they appear weak, they have their strength. Accepting people as they are helps you see their strength.
Don't judge others by your own standards. Your goals are probably different from theirs.
Accepting yourself just as you are is vital. You have weak spots, and you need to be aware of them to see how you can actually turn them into strengths! If you walk around hating yourself you will only make yourself weaker.
Making mistakes is part of life. It is what you do after you made the mistake that matters. Don't let them go wasted without learning from them!
There is no point in worrying about things you can't control. This will only steal your energy and focus away.

The list is to be continued...

And here is the text for the song that was played in the end of the first episodes:

Cultivate your hunger before you idealize
Motivate your anger to make them realize
Climbing the mountain, never coming down?
Break into the contents, never falling down

My knee is still shaking like I was twelve
Sneaking out the classroom, by the back door
A man railed at me twice, but I didn't care
Waiting is waisting, for people like me

Don't try to live so wise
Don't cry 'cause you're so right
Don't dry with fakes or fears
'Cause you will hate yourself in the end

It all makes sence to me now. Does it make sence to you?

How money is created

2008-03-25T09:29:00.002+01:00

Weird Sims

2008-03-21T06:15:00.005+01:00

I know I was supposed to do other stuff, but I could not help myself! I should have computerpower in ritsem and internet here... That would make sence right now. Or maybe actually the other way around. Oh well.

Here is what I did:

Weird Sims

The music is Ancient Ruin (from here). I'm pretty happy with the video considering it was made in windows movie maker. IS there a free program that is as easy as that but that WORKS?

Alla måste titta!

2008-03-18T20:21:00.000+01:00

När är det öppet?

2008-03-18T09:58:00.005+01:00

I was cleaning a toilet. I had just closed the little store and had a bunch of toilets to clean. Eva was supposedly cleaning the sauna, rooms and guest kitchen.

It was at this moment a young lad chose to approach me to ask when the store was open. I repeated the times like so many times before, and thought it was strange that he was not able to read them on the door to the store.
-Oh, I read those times! he explained.
-Oh? I said, now quite comfused about his question.
-Yes, I was just wondering, he continued, if you keep the store open at any other times than those...

Keep in mind that the store is open 8-10:30 and 14:30-19:30, wich I consider to be pretty generous. We only close to clean everything and eat lunch, and as most people are out doing their thing with their fishing and their snowmobile... whatever during the day, I really see no point in keeping the store open more than it allready is.

-We only keep the store open during the open times, I said barely keeping myself from laughing.
-Ok, I just thought you might be in the store at other times too, he muttered and wandered of.

I was pussled for days after that. Did he think we sat around in the store rolling our thumbs and keeping it closed all day? Or did he think we where so attached to the store that we did not want to close it unless we had to? The whole thing still makes me smile...

valign

2008-03-05T20:41:00.001+01:00

I like you, valign! You are so usefull! You make tables look nice... Why can't I find a replacement for you in css?

Thoughts straight from my head

2008-03-04T15:06:00.004+01:00

I think there is three kinds of people in this world. The kind that thinks ahead, the kind that thinks of what is now and the kind that kind of lives in the past.

But not me. I think of strange things. Abstract questions that doesn't always have much to do with my own life. As long as I know what is going to happen, I don't have to think about what I will do with time I might have later.

Britta asked me what I was going to do when I got home. But I hadn't spent any time this week thinking about what to do on my days off. I also didn't spend much time in the present. I guess I was thinking about my favourite subject quite a bit; programming. It's kind of like math, only more fun. And if you listen to Will Wright when he explains what gaming is to him, then what is the real difference between programming and gaming? Both is problemsolving, and both is fun. Both CAN be creative if you are...

The website is almost done. I know I've spent more time on it than would have been necessary. And the reason is I wanted to know what the code did. I looked at the (superior) code for wordpress and couldn't sort it out, so I made my own. I guess sorting wordpresses code out would have taken about as long, but that wouldn't have been nearly as fun! =) Anyways, I have not been spending every waking hour coding this thing, but it has amused me when I could have been bored or doing something else...

I have a new idea for a website too. But Micke says I have to wait with that one untill the game is done. I have to get it done soon! But I feel there will be plenty of time. At least I will be keeping busy in Ritsem.

Ritsem... I really enjoy working there! There is nice people and the boring parts of the job allows me to think about other stuff. I mean, there is not likely any monsters getting out of the toilet to attack me or anything while I am cleaning them or the rooms, so now that I got a routine for everything, I don't do the work less efficient while thinking.

Ok, I might have lost some of you there. You see when I was working at Posten, I had one job all day, and it was to put paper in a machine. This could go on and on and on... So I naturally started to think about other stuff while my hands did the work. My head was not occupied, you see. But then the machine stopped for various reasons, and the ones that had been standning there concentrating on what they where doing with their hands ofcourse realized this and headed of to do something useful. I on the other hand did nothing, my head was now occupied. This did not make me popular with my boss.

Anyways, working in the store is really fun when there is people in it, and when there is not, I get to have my laptop with me and I can make code or read or... Well I never had to invent a third.

So in short, I am happy. =)

So much to do, so little time to do it in

2008-02-26T15:03:00.002+01:00

Gah! I get home late, longing to do so much stuff! But ahh, the tiredness!

Yesterday eventing I got home to my bubblish! Kisses and hugs... Being able to throw out my every thought and get a response from someone that really really gets me...

Then I ran to the much missed computer. I nearly had a panic attack when internet refused to work. THAT time of the month coming up... For some reason I really missed playing sims. Perhaps because I made a habit of doing it so much. Not much, but now and then... You know, whenever. Played untill my eyes crossed. I got up at seven yesterday, you know.

Then I got to go asleep beside my precious.

Today I've been trying to stay calm. Allready been driving with Sofie. Went REALLY well. I think she handles the car as good as anyone could. She treated me to a tasty burger, then tea and ofcourse alot of talking. =)

In a little while we are going to Vuollerim to fix Lasses email and eat palt, apparently. Maybe I should not have eaten so much before... =P

Today is stable-day, so I have to make sure I get back in time.

Tomorrow I must shop for food to bring with me to Ritsem, see if there is files of Naruto (fun series) I want to bring... Ideally, I would read like a ton of programming related stuff too, but I'm not sure there will be time! There should be some kind of automatic bot that downloaded exactly what information I wanted from the internet during the night.

I actually CAN get to the internet in Ritsem if I really want to, but somehow I just feel that it would take time from creativity.

I would like to clean and do laundry here as well.

In case anyone wondered, I haven't had time to get bored in Ritsem either. There is always something to create/talk about/do. How come my days doesn't seem to have enough hours wherever I am?

Up again

2008-02-22T08:47:00.004+01:00

I've been home for two days now. That is, I got home tuesday and I am leaving today. That gives me two days off, see?

I think I will be comfortable working in Ritsem. It's work that I can do, and Britta that I work with is super nice. And so is Pelle, in his own way.

It' only untill may, so if I should start feeling some discomfort, There will be an end to it. Otherwise I've been told, I can only tell them it's not working out, and they will work THAT out. As I said, they are super nice up there.

This time I am going by bus. Last time was horrible. I did not enjoy driving up there! I even got myself stuck at one point, but Vattenfall helped me. That was lucky, since that road is pretty much not used at all at that time.

I was planning on writing a lot on here, but I got distracted. I had so much to read up on! There has been an explosion of Spore news since the release date was announced, and videos, and... =)

I also had to get the username (I had the password) for mysql on jokkmokksridklubbs website. That part was kind of easy, but when I tried connecting via mysql administrator, there was no luck, since neither one.com, their ip or jokkmokksridklubb.se worked as host. I emailed one.com about it, and their reply was that host should be "localhost". That works fine in php-script. Obviously they don't even know what mysql administrator is, but could they not have figured it to be a remote application? Guess not. Guess I won't count on being able to transfer anything directly into the database... If someone has some handy (preferrably simple) solution to all this (it would be nice to be able to sit in Ritsem filling the database with info and then just transferring it to one.com when I get home), please let me know.

Anyways, I'll see you all later!

Me!

2008-02-14T11:55:00.004+01:00

Tomorrow I will go away quite a bit to work. It's got nothing to do with computers, but it is still work, and hopefully it'll be fun. On my free time I will try to make sense out of what to do with my latest project...

It's a webpage, and it is in its current state built with frontpage. So there is just files everywhere and getting it updated has become impossible for the ones supposed to do it.

It'll be fun to help out, and I just hope I will do a good job. =)

September 7:th 2008...

2008-02-14T11:47:00.002+01:00

Will apparently be the day we can finally play spore. And we will ofcourse have been playing with the creature editor for some time by then.

This is the first official release date, if you don't count the ones Will mentioned... "Sometime this year" (2006) and so on.

I expect them to break this release date, but when they break it, it will be by weeks or perhaps months. Not years, as has been our experience so far. But with so many promises broken, it is hard not to expect this too to be broken. Whatever the reason may be (taxes?).

Will Wright shows Spore to NASA

2008-02-10T16:41:00.001+01:00

Where is my rank?

2008-01-31T16:43:00.000+01:00

According to this article, filesharers compete with eachother to get the highest rank by downloading a lot of illegal stuff. There is much money generated from this, even though I can't understand how anyone could make money from people who doesn't want to pay... They name their sources, and ofcourse gives us a link to the site that has this prestigious ranking.

Curious as I am, I wanted to see this list of illegal filesharers. Who is the most evil one in Sweden? But I can't find it! Can anyone help me? The list is supposed to be here: www.swecheck.net

Or is it possible that this was all a lie?

I go to the next source I can find (thanks to opassande). Note that this is just a summary of a report that has been produced by Value Formation in cooporation with Lunds University.

In this summary we can read that the entertainment industry has grown steadily for the past years, and we can see that so has illegal filesharing. The latter has grown faster, and I draw a conclusion, that in order to gerate a buy, you must spread the product to a number of people before it ends up in a computer whose owner will get excited and go and buy the product.

I think this is the best part:

The Musicindustry whent from anlog (LP) to digital (CD) format and on to digital distribution (MP3) via internet.
When transitioning from LP to CD the existing model of business worked well.
When transitioning from CD to MP3, the industry did not react fast enough to the need for new businesmodels. This contributed to the fast growth of illegal filesharing. Sales of CD's was cut in halp in four years time.
Note that it was an actor outside the (music) industry (Apple) that created the first successfull businesmodel for legal downloading.

Note that when transitioning from CD to MP3, everyone finds it totally normal to measure success by counting sold CD's. I would say that is pretty messed up right there, but then I don't even have a dregree!

The conclusion I make from this text is that an industry that does not act fast enough to new conditions will fail, and lose money. What conclusion I don't make is the one where it would be necessary to sue costumers for not giving you money when you are not giving the customer what it wants to buy at the right price...

SvD also lists www.Piratebay.se as a source, but I have no idea what they looked at there, so it's hard to judge if they are correct. All comments in the article conserning tpb is made by Pontén, and we all know he's lying all the time, so I will not even try to debunk what he says.

And then there is the report from Antipiratbyrån. I can't find it on their website, and would have sent them an email to ask about it, IF they had one. Maybe I'll pretend to be one of them tomorrow and call them and see if I can get my hands on the report. I would LOVE to know what their sources are!

How does not having TV affect your life?

2008-01-28T10:17:00.001+01:00

We made a choice a while back. We would stop watching TV. Actually, it was not so much of a choice but just something we realized we did. We just stopped, since we had no need for it anymore.

For a long while we watched whenever friends came over. There seemed to always be something they wanted to see on the thing. We didn't put the TV away, because we use it for videogames and for watching films on DVD.

The result wasn't even noticeable back then. We still knew what was going on on the different channels and you only need to watch TV for about half an hour to know what the commersials are that month.

Then they shut down the analog part of the network. Now you need some kind of box to watch TV. I know nothing about this technology, because I am more interested in my car, and that says a lot! (I don't care about car technology, unless there is a nifty computer involved)

Now the difference between us and the people watching TV are noticeable. We have no idea, most of the time, what commersials are shown. And we don't really know what series are being shown on TV and wich episode people around us has seen or not. Yes, we watch the series too. When we have time for such activities (one or two episodes a day, typically), and only the good ones.

But most noticeable is that in a conversation, I have to ask about what commersials are shown on TV. I don't get jokes based upon them.

But I am happy. I still use about the same amount of time to sit at my computer reading unnessecery stuff or playing videogames or computergames or watching something on the computer or listening to last.fm or reading dn.se or blogs about current events... But I am spared from watching commersial after commersial that I don't even want to be seeing.

Sure there are banners, but they are so much easier ignored (or blocked).

My confusion is about this; why do people continue to let their TV control their lifes? I can't understand how you could arrange your life so you have time to watch right at the moment your favourite show starts, and then all the way to the end of it. I used to but oh, how quickly one forgets!

So come on! Demand your house to be free of the TV. Public service is still a good thing, when it works, but you can watch it on their web page when it suits YOU instead of having them control you (if you can read this, you must have a computer, hehe). Control of your life is not public service, is it?

Marklund snurrar till det

2008-01-27T18:18:00.000+01:00

Länk: Skapa själva, lata parasiter

Borde inte en författare, som borde vara väl van vid att sätta sig in i hur andra människor reagerar i olika situationer inse att man inte uppnår någonting positivt genom att kalla en grupp människor för skällsord som inte har någon som helst anknytning till verkligheten?

Somliga reagerar på vad hon skriver i sin lilla "artikel" eller vad man ska kalla det. Jag själv reagerar redan på tre felaktigheter i rubriken.

A: Jag skapar själv. Jag älskar musik och toner och blir inspirerad att själv sätta toner på mina tankar när jag hör andras musik. Jag passar mig för att använda andras ljud, även om jag blir frestad, utan håller mig till att spela in eget ljud själv eller (jag måste erkänna att jag gjorde det i min senaste låt) tar från låtar gjorda av människor jag vet inte skulle bli allt för arga på mig. Jag tjänar ju trots allt inga pengar på min musik, men lagen ska följas ändå.

Utöver musiken är jag väldigt kreativ och försöker ständigt hitta nya uttrycksformer.

B: Jag är inte lat. Jag arbetar gärna hårt och länge för saker jag brinner för, eller för att få lite pengar. Jag sitter gärna uppe en hel natt för att få något färdigt i tid om jag anser att just den deadlinen är viktig. Behöver en vän hjälp gör jag allt för att ge den hjälp jag kan. Det sårar mig mycket när motsatsen antyds, och det är väl det som Marklund retar mig mest med.

C: "parasiter"... Wikipedia tycker att ordet betyder "en som lever av att snylta på en annan". Det är ungefär den uppfattningen jag själv har om ordet. Dessutom finns det en mycket negativ laddning i det. Jag törs lova att av de Marklund har för avsikt att tilltala är det en mycket liten del (mindre än en procent) som verkligen lever på att tanka hem andras verk och sälja till andra. Vem är den tänkta kunden? Den som hellre köper en piratkopia än tankar själv eller köper orginal? Det kan inte vara en stor marknad det rör sig om.

Jag har blivit erbjuden pengar för piratkopior, men av princip har jag aldrig tagit emot det. Jag har aldrig blivit erbjuden att köpa piratkopior av böcker, filmer eller musik.

Att kalla den som vill lyssna på mer musik och se mer på film än den har råd med för parasit är som att kalla en fildelare för tjuv. Det är helt enkelt inte ett logiskt argument som håller för någon form av granskning. Men vänta! Marklund kallar visst fildelare för tjuvar! Det visar bara hur efter hon är i debatten, för hade hon följt med så hade hon redan fått förklarat för sig varför det inte är detsamma som stöld när man tillverkar något själv, även om man inte kommit på själv hur det ska tillverkas.

Resten av artikeln har opassande bemött, så jag ska bespara er onödig dubbel läsning.

Jag vill bara påpeka att det faktiskt finns gott om fildelande som inte är olagligt. Som sker på både kreatörens och kundens villkor och där båda tjänar på det. Jag hoppas att om 10 år har denna lagliga fildelning konkurrerat ut alla andra kreatörer så att vi slipper slåss för att inte ha samma övervakning i hemmet som vi har när vi befinner oss i affären. För det är skillnad på att inte kunna prata ostört ute på stan och att inte kunna göra det hemma. Tänk på det!

EDIT: Piratpartiets ledare (som väl borde veta vad vi står för och inte) har även han bemött Marklunds svammel.

2008-01-26T14:09:00.001+01:00

I am a Visionary Soul

I am a curious person, always in a state of awareness.
Connected to all things spiritual, I am very connected to my soul.
I am wise and bright: able to reason and be reasonable.
Occasionally, I get quite depressed and have dark feelings.

I have great vision and can be very insightful.
In fact, I am often profound in a way that surprises myself.
Visionary souls like me can be the best type of friend.
I am intuitive, understanding, sympathetic, and a good healer.

Souls I am most compatible with: Old Soul and Peacemaker Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

Renar (Reindeers)

2008-01-24T23:49:00.000+01:00

I'm tired. Very tired. I helped Sara and Jomi with the reindeers today (skiljning), and I'm going to help them tomorrow too.

I got sore muscles just about everywhere... but I need to sleep now. So no time for blogging. Just as well. My brain is kind of empty right now!

Black or white? GREY!

2008-01-23T11:40:00.000+01:00

It drives me crazy! There is so many people out there that thinks of things in either black or white. Either it is one way, and if it isn't, it must be the other way!

I'll tell you something you don't seem to know; things can very well exist in the middle. Someone can be half good at something, someone can be fairly nice and a child can be interested in BOTH technical stuff and pink princess thingies with glitter on top!!! And it matters more what kind of person it is than what sex it was born with.

Personally I am sick and tired of being treated after what happens to be between my legs. That should be nobodys busines, and if you can't see past you stupid prejudices, then that should be your problem. Not mine.

And getting your ability to do something after the first question you ask must be just as tiresome. There is actually people out there that knows a lot, but doesn't know the thing you learned first in that area.

Just take a long hard look at yourself. Did you learn everything at once in every field you got into? Are you always nice or always evil? Do you like your whole house to be pink or to be blue? Didn't think so.

New music!

2008-01-17T22:12:00.000+01:00

Oh, yes! Another free song is coming your way! It's a lot like my mind right now and has the slightly misleading name "Do it". It had a more depressing title, but after I put in the... ahem... lyrics, what choice did I have?

Micke described the song as kind of ambient, wich is what I was trying to do, so... This was a triumf, huge success!

Get it here!
More songs by me

Experiences from Spore

2008-01-17T21:51:00.000+01:00

This made me happy:

NOTE: I am recovering all of this from a very brief and unclear memory. I'd guess that 20% of what I'm sputtering is at least slightly incorrect... but I know a lot of basics that weren't clear before.

In addition, if you were wondering, my creature looked a bit like its crude counterpart below:

OH, and I never mentioned how FREAKING INCREDIBLE the procedural generation is. My creature dancing was like, the highlight of my whole Macworld. It kicked each pair of its legs outwards at different times and its tail spun around. The action is very dependent on the spine shape: ie, the mouth was on the spine, so it moved itself around. The babies are awesome. Walking... oh my god. My creature walked SO many different ways. When I told it to go to a spot behind itself, it began to walk sideways with two legs off the ground until it was facing the right direction. It knew the path of least resistance for every freaking action! The sumo was crazy too, it stomped its three legs on the side down, then the other three while scowling. The back leg kicked out when this happened. Sooo cool.

I was kind of thinking the other day, that the movements in the old Spore-videos wasn't that good at all times. Legs would move like the code for moving was expecting only 2 legs and got upset that there were more of them. But above statement sure sounds good! =)

I agree!

2008-01-17T01:02:00.000+01:00

Since there is nothing in this article that I don't agree with, I have to give you a link to it... Go read it, swedish people!

And then go listen to my music! =)

Spore is coming to mac too...

2008-01-17T00:20:00.000+01:00

But I have no idea when this is going to happen. Except it will happen at the same time as the game comes to PC... whenever that is! There is talk about march 1:st, but that's just the zillionth date I've heard, so I'll believe it when the game goes gold.

The big mystery

2008-01-12T15:53:00.000+01:00

Why is women so not interested in working with computers and other technical stuff? Technical, by the way... I you just work with software, I don't feel like it is very technical!

In my experience, there is no real advatage between being a girl or a boy when it comes to math, logic or programming. However, girls solutions when it comes to programming tends to be more... should I say feminine? They are just a bit different, and girls approach to a programming problem is often that nothing is impossible, and that if you look hard enough, you can find a simple solution to a complicated problem, while boys sometimes look for coplicated solutions to simple problems. They do it because it is fun - girls and boys thinks different things are fun about programming.

For me, it is fun to mix math, logic and programming. It is fun to realize that what would be tedious to do for a human only takes a few lines of code in a loop to get done.

But why are all girls so extremely uninterested in the making of programs? The girls I know share my desire to get the computer to "just work" whenever a new program is installed. Windows XP was a religious experience for me. You just installed it and everything just worked! "Plug and pray" became "plug it in, ant it really works!". Because who wants to spend hours getting something someone else should have fixed for you to work?

Girls tend to be interested in using computers, but why are they never even curious about why they work the way they do?

Maybe it is like Marghareta Eriksson says?

Det är en skräckkurva vi haft. Jag tror att just kvinnor försvunnit från datautbildningarna eftersom det inte varit etablerat att de ska läsa teknik. Har man inte med sig de tankarna från barnsben och om arbetsmarknaden är kärv, framförallt för kvinnor, så väljer man att läsa något annat.

That girls just are not thinking about technology from childhood? I mean, not everyone had my father, that let me stand around asking questions when he was fixing the car, computer or whatever. Not everyone was in a big garage watching a parent build busses and played with various contraptions... Not everyone was given a rubber hammer, nails and frigolit pieces when they where three and tried to build a replica of the familys boat with it.

Hummm... What WHERE they doing? When their radio broke, didn't they open it up to pieces to try and find what was wrong? What did they do when their tamagotchi broke?

Is the difference due to some attitude their parents had? That is so sad, in that case. I hope not. Somehow I just hope that girls really are that different to boys and that they are not being forced to be someone they are not by their parents...

Anyway, I should stop now and go do some girly stuff with Sofie; knitting and such. =)

USA wants another war

2008-01-10T14:19:00.000+01:00

What a surprise!

According to this story (thanks, Mind) Bush says Iran is provocing USA. In a motorboat. Against a warship or something. Very likely. The video is ridicoulus. I could have done that too. I have Windows Movie Maker. That is all needed to fake something in that manner; not very good.

But wait a minute. Everyone can see that is a fake. Does it really matter? A big portion of the people (on earth) will think it's real because USA says it is. The ones that don't, no matter how well credited they are, will be dismissed as fanatic conspiracy theoretics.

Meanwhile what really is happening is Iran feels provoced by this accusation. It will either not be long before they respond, or USA will find more ways of provocation. Or maybe blurry satellite images of weapon factorys...

Then all hell will break loose down there. The ball is in motion. There is no way to stop it.

But USA should be more careful. One of these days they are going to piss of the wrong country, and it will be their doom. All of this has happened before, and will happen again.

Snakes - Why?

2008-01-09T11:24:00.000+01:00

Why does people have snakes as pets?

I guess the couple abandoning these thought the same...

I mean, I have never heard a story of an affectionate snake. I did however hear stories about snakes getting out of their cage and trying to kill their owner. So there is obviously not any emotional bond between owner and pet. Not from the snakes side, anyway.

So why do people do it? Keep snakes (and various other reptiles for that matter), I mean. Because they are cool? I can understand that. Kind of like having a poisonous spider. Or a gun. At lest the gun doesn't wander off by itself, but I still hate it and would not keep one in the house.

Ok, so all snakes aren't dangerous. So what is so cool about them, then?

First riding lesson fo the year

2008-01-09T11:06:00.000+01:00

I was sad to learn that we will not be having our usual riding instructor this term. I really really liked her. But the one we will be having is Rosy. I had her once and remember I thought she was good too.

I got to ride Talar, and Yamina had ridden her the lesson before, so he was all done when I got him. He is going to be a really nice horse some day. If he can just stop to do his little tricks. He acted like he was afraid of the airconditioning. I didn't believe him. Sometimes he kind of wandered off too. I didn't let him... mostly...

It was the old sideways movements again. I don't remember; there is more to riding than jumping and moving sideways, yes? There is also other hard stuff, right?

Anyways, Rosy told me the last thing I needed to perfect everything about them... in theory at least; shoulder back. Ingela and Mimmi has told me other useful things (about my feet and hip), and with this last thing, everything just worked. =D

Perhaps I need 3 instructors, actually...

No, but I realized something. Andreas (sisters boyfriend) told me a lot of things about skiing in Björnrike. We had exercizes concerning feet, hands and shoulders. Funny. Who needs to think about shoulders when skiing? The skis are all the way down there, what does shoulders matter? A lot, apparently.

Same thing with riding. Should have figured. My shoulders are a lot closer to the horse than to my skis!

Anyways, I am happy with how the lesson turned out. I think this term can really be a good one. And we finnish late, so it is all calm and quiet in the stable, and there is lots of time to tend to the horse and hang around chatting. Me like.

Evolution

2008-01-06T14:20:00.000+01:00

I'm back!

2008-01-03T10:34:00.000+01:00

After a long trip around selected parts of Sweden, I'm back home! I really missed Jokkmokk, and it's so wonderful to be here again.

All the plants look sad, because noone gave them any water while I was gone... =P But the ones that died didn't survive. =) That way, the ones that did survive will probably be the strong ones. The only sad part was the avocado and the thyme. The avocado missed me so much that it lost all it's leaves. The stem is still green, so I gave it water, but who knows if that will help...

Anyways, after spending time with my father on his birthday, it was time for christmas with my mom and all the relatives in and around Hölö. I knitted a scarf and a hat for my little cousins Lovisa and Mattias. Mattias got the scarf, but it was Lovisa that went all happy when she opened her present. Miracolusly (I can't spell that word) the hat fit perfectly, and she wore it to the early Christmas-morning service the next day.

Oh yes. We went there. I usually don't, since it's too early for me, but this year we decided that it would be a good idea to go. And it was. I don't believe in all that, but to sit in a church filled with people and hear the priest talk about the old fairytale about Maria was really nice. Plus I got to see our nice church again. I had almost forgot how nice it is. It's really big and full of historic things. Keeping in mind that Hölö is much smaller than Järna and Jokkmokk, it is kind of strange that Hölö's church is bigger...

After all the christmas stuff was done (we allways have a dinner at my grandmother's place on christmas day or the day after that. This year it was the day after that. (Boxing day? Who's boxing?)) me, my sister, her boyfriend, my mother and her boyfriend went to Björnrike to go skiing. I've been snowboarding for the last 12 years or so, so putting on a pair of skis and hurling myself downhill was a real adventure. But I soon got the hang of it, and Andreas (sister's boyfriend) gave me some pointers. By the end of the five days we where skiing I think I did rather good. =)

We also celebrated new years up (down?) there, but I was just missing my Mind...

Yesterday I got home at last. The way home was strange. From Björnrike to Mora by car, from Mora to Arlanda by train, from Arlanda to Luleå by airplane (the pilot called it an earplane) and then by car with my wonderful back home. We stopped at his parents to eat some turkey on the way. Delicious!

I'm off to the shower now. And then I have some work to do... =P

Sanningen som jag ser den

Vidde goes wordpress!

Getting my ass out of bed!

Ica och deras "Mina varor"

Misty day

Too mean?

Guys... to hell with you!

Confused and happy

You are not worthy

Plan!

I get by with a little help from my friends... =)

Happy face on?

Good work!

Am I imagining?

Old and new

About feelings and their reasons

About what?

Wait! what's happening?

Woke up smiling...

More hours, please!

Too tired

Got the job!

Patch!

A view of the world

So tired

Second interview

New functions...

Moved

New mobile

Changes...

Handväska - privatliv

Kitties

To play or not to play

Swedish translator needed?

Torsk med äggsås

I want one!

More fun with spore... =)

Our new family member

Lol

SCC

Bye bye, childhood home...

Treenigheten

Evilsistah has a blog!

Labels

This blog is not approved by the swedish government

Tired

Food?

Quote of the day

spending time with my father

The sickest feature of facebook yet

Spore videos

No more horses! Please!

Blue knee

New horse video

How statistics lie or tell the truth?

How Movies Were Rented In The Past

Jumping...

Stuff in general

Life is good... and fast!

Idiots

Form in a form

Better?

Public

Internet Explorer... *sigh*

Trip down south

Confuse-a-cat

Traveling all day tomorrow

Horses makes me well

Up side down

Different people, different worlds

Medelålders?

This is how it is

Things I've learned from Naruto

How money is created

Weird Sims

Alla måste titta!

När är det öppet?

valign

Thoughts straight from my head

So much to do, so little time to do it in

Internet Explorer... sigh